Crazy hermits

People wonder why the crazy are crazy and why some people are hermits. I've always thought that crazy people are born crazy and hermits have no life. But I've come to realise that it people are what they are because of the people around them. Not all crazies are born crazy, not all hermits want to be hermits.

Crazies were driven crazy. Hermits were forced by the pressure of the people around them. There's just so much that a human being can take from the world. Some have more tolerance than others. Some just don't want to face it anymore.

People are scary. They scare me. They judge. They do everything imaginable and unpredictable.

Crazies are vulnerable. Hermits want to shield themselves from this mad world. And me?






I'm both.

I dream the reality

Sometimes in my dreams, I dream about things that I've yet to do. Like a déjà vu "flashforward".


Its pretty weird yet cool at the same time. And when the time comes where I'm doing what I've dreamed off, I remember that I've somehow done it before.

The dreaded question

I never knew what I wanted to be. Even up till now, I have this doubt that I'll ever amount to anything in the future. I don't mind writing scripts if they find my work bearable but I really can't picture myself in that business for my whole entire life. What I really want is to be a storyboard-ist or someone who edits films or even a director. Writing is fine, writing is good but I want this more. What should I do…I can't lie forever. Not to everyone, not to myself. I hate it.

Someone help me.

Where is this going

I really thought I love writing and oh boy was I wrong. I like writing yes but I never thought that I would find anything better than writing. Oh if my classmates were to see this now they would think that I'm not passionate about writing and I shouldn't be there with them, writing and creating worlds of our own. I've always loved the visuals. Be it graphics or videos. Maybe its just another phase which I'll get over pretty soon but what if writing was just a phase? Then am I cheating myself trying to convince myself that I, Kar Men love writing more than anything else in the world? My introductions have always been hey, I'm Kar Men and I love writing how about you?

Only I would know whether the above statement is true or false.
At that moment, I didn't think because that's what people wanted me to be, the writer. And besides I'm in a writing course, shouldn't I be great at writing and all that? But, I came across situations that made me question myself, what if, what if…I really made the wrong decision. It's hard to think that only after a year in this course I've started to doubt myself, and my beliefs.