Facebook show-offs

A show-off is a person who likes boasting about him/herself, whether its oh-hear-how-well-I-can-sing or oh-hey-I-take-lots-of-pics-of-myself-cuz-I'm-pretty-and-I-want-the-whole-world-to-know-about-it.

Either way facebook has became a platform where people go hang out with real friends that you probably see and hear from everyday. Like Geakie said facebook is for the popular and social butterflies. Well, sad to say that I'm no social butterfly and I'm content with forever-alone or random people from the net (as long as they are nice and have no bad intentions). Unlike people who have 1000+ pictures on facebook, mine are all tagged by others and I really don't like it. Sometimes, I have the urge to just delete my facebook account because of that. Whenever I take pictures for an occasion it's usually for my own keepsake and not for the whole world to know about what I did last summer or something.

Oh! I got carried away! Back to show-offs. It's not because I'm jealous that they can cam whore and sketch like a kindergardener or something but there are sites where you can show case your talents and that site is NOT facebook. Seriously. Even celebs don't use facebook often. 

I'm cool. I use twitter and tumblr. You can't beat that now. I really want to delete my facebook BUT I'm lazy to think of a reason, explaining to people why I did that. Cuz surely there will be curious friends and such and I'll have to keep explaining again and again and again 'til the end of time.

Have I said this? A pairing that I ship came true! Keenan x Donia FTW!

There's just one thing

Oh I think you're really mean. I think you're really mean. 

Yes, back in Singapore and back into this restraining life. Once again let me rant about the selfishness of my mum. I admit that I don't spend enough time with my family and when you ask me to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to attend prayers I groan and roll about in bed and not go. 

But still it makes no sense that I'm not allowed to accompany a close friend of mine to school in the morning because of your selfish thoughts. Oh yes, you're very VERY selfish. Tell me about genes. I got that from you, don't blame me for that. Selfish love much? It's that kind of situation where oh, I don't get this so no one can. I get that A LOT. But sometimes people should not be so uptight about stuff and the people around you would feel really relaxed and calm around you. Ferserious. Chillax. This is the 21st century for heaven sake.

Back and raving

I like to think that there are several sides to me. A fun and bubbly Kar Men, a serious and no-nonsense Kar Men, a lonely and over-emotional Kar Men and there's of course bitchy, shitty Kar Men. But I'm overall a nice person. 

This trip to Shanghai, I thought I would be more open and make friends in a flash, slapping the backs of people my age. Gah. Yes, I kinda made friends with two but it was only on the last day where they started to talk to me. Strangers whom I've not met before tend to avoid me like the plague. Even though I have no terminal disease or such AND I'm a very fun person to be around with. 

I talked to them and guess what. They thought me a foreigner (not Singaporean) and worse still, this other girl who is a year older than me or same age (not very sure) told them that I look like a domestic maid for my family. That bitch. Seriously, you want to talk shit about me? Say it to my face, don't go talking behind my back and pretend to be nice. And her name is Bernice. Note that the words BE NICE is in there. Such a bitch really. And I think that her face is really old not like that of a youthful 18 year old. Really. She looked like a teacher I had in secondary school except shittier. And oh, she wears thin sweaters that won't keep one warm in degrees 4-8 and she tells the others that she's not cold when I see her body shiver when we have toilet breaks all the time. Sucker. 

Lucky her family left a day earlier or I would have slapped that bitch and kicked her ass. 

I feel the drop

I used to swallow book after book during the holidays but as for now, I've become lazy and my reading speed is that of a crawling snail. I would like to pick back the speed of leaping llama and drown myself in a world of fantasy. Just a day ago — or two, my memory is failing me — I read this really great science fiction manga and that got me into science fiction. I've never actually tried reading sci-fi unless its from an author that I've read books of, like Eoin Colfer — The Supernaturalist is a fantastic book, seriously now go get it. Maybe its time to get out of my comfort zone of faeries, magic and all that shit and thread onto a foreign territory: Sci-fi!

Yes! I shall start my new adventure! As soon as I have money to spend anyway. I'm currently dead broke. Maybe I can use the money for the trip and spend some at the bookstore for a good sci-fi book. Hehe.

Not reading and writing furiously have made me feel the crazy drop of standard in my English. Seriously, I feel disgusted with myself. Why did I allow this to happen? Because of my laziness duh! Shoo lazy bug, you make me English no good! Shoo! Begone!

Must read more and write more.

New facade

Don't be tricked by the girly layout because this blog is certainly not girly at all. I like girly stuff, pink fluff and all that shit but sometimes people are not what they seem to be.

My main blog became a blog that I can never pour myself in and my secondary blog may cause certain people to worry about me. Part of me fears judgement and pity but another part just want to keep things personal. I've got so many friends that are open and there for me but somehow, I still cannot completely let this wall that I've put up for years now fall down so easily. I can never let it down, knowing that the monster inside of me is still alive and kicking. There are times where it breaks out from inside, snapping at people who dare thread near. I hate not being able to control it. I hate hurting people that I love.

Trust is a double edge sword. Being too trusting can hurt but to not trust people might put your social life — or any life in particular — in jeopardy. Having too many instances where friends and family betrayed my trust, has scarred my nature to trust people completely. There are of course a select few people in this world who have earned my complete trust and I hope that they would never crush it. 

I do love blogging and talking emo shit, but only here — where I let my guard down and unleash whatever I've kept in for so long now.