My main blog became a blog that I can never pour myself in and my secondary blog may cause certain people to worry about me. Part of me fears judgement and pity but another part just want to keep things personal. I've got so many friends that are open and there for me but somehow, I still cannot completely let this wall that I've put up for years now fall down so easily. I can never let it down, knowing that the monster inside of me is still alive and kicking. There are times where it breaks out from inside, snapping at people who dare thread near. I hate not being able to control it. I hate hurting people that I love.
Trust is a double edge sword. Being too trusting can hurt but to not trust people might put your social life — or any life in particular — in jeopardy. Having too many instances where friends and family betrayed my trust, has scarred my nature to trust people completely. There are of course a select few people in this world who have earned my complete trust and I hope that they would never crush it.
I do love blogging and talking emo shit, but only here — where I let my guard down and unleash whatever I've kept in for so long now.
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